LENT: Prayer, Penitence, and Almsgiving.

Prayer, penitence, and almsgiving, in addition to self-denial or our fast, these are traditions during the Lenten season as preparation for the Easter celebration, reflecting on these I find the role each plays in my life in living as God's beloved. I feel some of these things have been neglected, some overdone in my life.


Prayer during this season has been very interesting, very flexible, very reflective. It is the moments where I can converse with God to release the things I hold onto, whether out of greed or distrust in Him. Many times I have found my self sitting in silence, trying to push the noise out of my head.

Straining to hear Him whisper, "You are my beloved."

I think this is difficult. Lent is a season of freedom. It's a season of being free from our selves. I've found freedom in sharing the prayer of an old blind man on a road.
Jesus Son of David, have mercy on me.
I've let this prayer repeat itself, in as constant of a manner as possible. A cadence of repetition, hoping for it to seep into my thoughts, and into my heart. A prayer with out ceasing. Free from having to say the right thing. Freedom from having to pray properly. Freedom for Him to say, "Beloved." and me to say, "Yes."

His kindness leads to penitence, or repentance. Many times I let my false self lead me into repentance, a self absorbed superficial self-deprecation that is void of true ownership of my actions.

And quite frankly that's a problem.

The problem is when my false self leads me into repentance, I do not accept myself as I am, as who I am, and that I am His Beloved.

To be honest, I have no problems being critical of myself. Judging myself. Admitting I am a failure. I can easily throw heaps of guilt and rejection on my self at ease. But to accept it? To accept that I am a sinner and His Beloved?

How can He? How can he call me beloved with what I have done?

Freedom.

Freedom cries out. It cries out to repent

To accept myself as I am to be His beloved as I am. To allow his love to heal. To allow his love to transform.

Freedom to repent. Freedom to pray.

Freedom to Give.

To be honest, giving is probably not an issue with this community, or many people in this country, to a degree. With the rise of social justice programs and causes, how is almsgiving even something that is a part of a journey of self-denial, prayer, and repentance.

I think in this season, we can find freedom to give, and to give well. We can find freedom to give to our uniqueness.

I think in our culture, awareness and causes is on a continual growth, leaving us burdened by obligations and guilt.

As we pray, and as we grow closer to Jesus and listen more for His voice whispering his love to us, I think we must take time reflect on our giving, and the freedom to be who He made us to be in our giving.

Remember you are His beloved. In this find freedom. In this find peace. In this find wholeness.