Becoming

Have you ever read the scriptures and some obscure phrase sticks in your craw like the esophageal cramp you get from eating pork skins too fast?
Today's OYB passage did for me... it read, "...and Judas Iscariot, who became a traitor."
Became a traitor.
Became.
Not was... not "born that way"..., but "became a traitor."
That terrifies me.
How can a disciple numbered with the twelve, a follower of the Rabbi just like Peter or James or John, an apostle chosen by the Son of God to share daily life with this inner circle of twelve... How could he 'become' a traitor?
How can I 'become' a traitor? by contrast, I see through a glass dimly for now... Judas smelled Jesus' perspiration... if Judas could 'become a traitor', what about me?
Counter that with Saul of Tarsus, a hater of the brethren, a young lawyer probably affiliated with the ACLU with an agenda to rid the society of these Followers of the Way.
Saul, named from a man-appointed King, who got struck by the Paradox; Saul who became 'Paul', who became the greatest missionary the early church had known, writing more biblical works than even Moses.
Jesus, how do I become more like this Saul/Paul dude?
Jesus, how do I not become a traitor who betrays you with my words and lifestyle of distractability?
Lord, help us be awake in this tension.
Thy will be done. amen