Authenticity: Keeping it Real.

There times in life that certain buzz-words are what I am all about. Words like 'Green' or 'Missional' or 'Relevant'. Recently a favorite buzz-word of mine became a bit more real to me and acted more as a 'buzz-kill' in showing me where I really don't know what it means to be, well, to be authentic.

For some time authenticity has held this 'keep it real' mentality, where cynicism and telling 'people how it is' has taken a front seat. Don't misunderstand, I believe honesty and candor, and speaking one's mind is important, within the context of love and caring, and having empathy for those around us. But this is not the point. It is difficult to express what thoughts are running around my head, so maybe it would be best if I share with you an experience I had recently that showed me what it means to be authentic.

This past Sunday night we had a slightly different worship service. Recently our church sent a missions team to Moldova (in Eastern Europe) to work with a missionary we had commissioned to go there a year ago. We sang a few songs, then Brandon, our lead pastor, greeted everyone in normal fashion, acknowledging our value of be real and having authentic community and worship with others. He then turned the service over to Nate Sloan (the missionary). Nate began by telling us other stories, and then opened the floor up to the others that went on the trip.

Thus begins the shift.

The first team member to share told of meeting the kids and various other activities, and then began to talk about what God had done in their life, and how when they where telling the story of their life with God, they told it in the most honest way that they ever had. I remember thinking on this through out the service. How it resonates with my own life and story. A story that sometimes seems to change with the telling, making sure I get all the words right so maybe it doesn't sound too bad or it sound cooler or something. Reflecting back on this moment I realize this was the set up, and an even deeper turn was to occur. One of the elders of the church that went shared their experience on the trip. After a few images and stories, they made a comment about our culture confusing excellence for execution, and then they played a video clip. And here is where I was introduced to the real authenticity.

The clip was one of the worship services they participated in. A service in a dark basement, a small table and one light, and a song. A song that was being sung by one of the most beautiful voices I have ever heard. It was truly a humbling experience. What was humbling was the genuine-ness of their worship, the honesty of their worship. This song flowing from a real life love for Jesus. Watching this video clip, I was convinced beyond a doubt, that these people love Jesus, they really do.

This has left me is broken.

It's difficult for me to express what exactly I am feeling. I feel like I have replaced a life of sitting on the lap of Jesus, resting my head to His chest, feeling His heartbeat with cheap satisfactions when unimportant conditions are correct. I've struggled to fill that void with experiences of "thank God they're playing my favorite worship song" and achieving proper execution of service, only left to the frustrations of not filing the whole.

In my broken-ness, by His grace, would Jesus help me keep my life with Him real, genuine, and authentic, and that He would take away those imitation things that I try to put in its place.